It’s okay if you want to grieve that your body and/or mind aren’t functioning the way you want them to. It’s okay to take time to grieve that. You don’t always have to be positive.
But please remember that your value and worth never decrease, no matter what you cannot do because of your illness, condition or disability.
Every time I get groceries I’m always appalled at how little you can get for like, $20. I was making banana pudding so I needed vanilla wafers but the brand name nilla wafers cost $4 a box. The minimum wage in my state is $7.25/hr. My friend put it really well when he said “imagine you work for an hour and someone hands you two boxes of nilla wafers and said ‘actually this is a bit more than what I owe you’”
How are some of y’all missing the point so bad. “Shop at aldi instead” “make your own food” “don’t buy brand name” “don’t buy unhealthy processed food” It’s not about the box of cookies. This is about how minimum wage pays peanuts and has stagnated for 12 years while the cost of living keeps growing. No one wants your financial advice about how to survive on beans and rice and frozen veggies. The smartest grocery list in the world is not gonna help you budget your way out of poverty. Please get a grip for the love of god
Just finished my Autumn Leaves pattern in time for November! by Complete-Ambition385
This is why “credit the artist” is so critical.
I showed this to my mom. She flipped her shit. Wants the pattern. I clicked the link. Got to the original, which had a link to the pattern. Mom is buying the pattern, artist makes money.
While I’m there, I notice it’s had dozens of hits in the last 24 hours. Why? Because its making rounds on tumblr and somebody credited the artist.
Great job, OP.
Today, on this fateful day in sex ed, I have to teach 25 9th graders how to put condoms on wooden dicks without losing my composure. Wish me luck lmao
Now to find a way to discreetly transport this entire drawer to the other side of the building...
Today went well overall. Lots of great conversations took place alongside some... very silly ones lmao.
Here are some highlights from this morning’s lesson:
Me: *removes the wooden dicks from my bag and slaps them on the table*
Students collectively: o_O
That one student: nice
—
Me: *demonstrating how to put on a condom*
Also me: *puts it on wrong the first time, even though I practiced twice beforehand* So everyone, here we see what not to do. Let’s try that again
—
Me: *finished demonstration, holding a sheathed wooden dick* so what questions do we have about condoms before I unleash you all to practice on the models?
Student: *raises hand* yeah, I’m wondering how you’re feeling about your life choices up until this point?
Me: o-o
—
Student 1: *raises hand* miss, why are the condoms so... slimy?
Me: thats lubricant, it helps get rid of friction that might cause discomfort during intercourse.
Student 2: *raises hand* can you use lube on a slip and slide?
Me: *genuinely considering the possibility*
—
*during a conversation about excuses people have heard for not wearing condoms*
Student 1: I had a guy tell me he was too big to fit in a condom
Me: *opens a condom, puts entire forearm inside and pulls it up to my elbow* here’s why that’s not true
Student 2: I once saw a video of somebody that put an entire watermelon in a condom before, so unless that dude’s got a watermelon shlong, that’s cap.
Me: *slowly losing composure behind my mask* you have the right idea, but let’s refrain from using the word ‘shlong’ in class, please.
—
Me: what are some ideas of things we can say to people who try to pressure you into having unprotected sex?
Student 1: tell them you don’t want their penis cooties!!
Student 2: penis cooties? Pretty sure that’s just herpes
Me, internally: like... you’re not wrong
—
Me: alright everyone, time to return the wooden models up front. Remove the condoms by firmly grasping the base of the model and sliding it off. Don’t forget to throw it away please!
Student 1: FIRMLY GRASP IT
Student 2: idk if I can return it now, miss. I’ve become attached to mine(the wooden dick)
Student 3: yeah, most men are
Me: *trying to keep a straight face*
—
Student 1: miss, why are the wooden dicks so shiny when you take the condom off
Me: oh, that’s just the lubricant from the condom.
Student 2: so you know you put the condom on right if your dick is shiny after?
Student 3: yeah! If your dick is shiny, you’re doing it right
Me: *trying to keep my composure pt. 36716159* uh, yeah that’s not necessarily the case. You see, these models are wooden. Penises are not.
Student 3: then why is it called morning wood?
Me: *internally self destructs*
—
Me: *casually wiping off the lube from wooden dicks w/ a paper towel before returning them to my bag* so what questions do we have about the use of contraception?
Student: miss can you please not make eye contact with us while you do that?
"Student 2: *raises hand* can you use lube on a slip and slide?"
Yes you can. Also in water balloons at a water war. The latter can hurt. There was an entire dorm who's Thing was doing this at the orientation water war (among other events, like their hosted lube wrestling competition and lube dance competitions). Just check to make sure the lube type is compatible with the plastic being used. You probably want water based lube, as the normal lubes don't mix well with some polymers.
Switch to light mode or Classic Blue to get the full transparency effect!
[Image ID: A four page comic that starts with Danny Fenton standing in front of a whiteboard holding up a white cat. “Question: Do ghosts purr?”
Tucker: “Danny when was the last time you slept?”
Danny: “Irrelevant.”
Danny info-dumps:
“The answer is yes, but also no. Technically, all beings that possess a core are constantly "purring”, a.k.a. Core Vibrations. Core Vibrations are a nonverbal, emotion-based communication system between Ghosts, similar to how some living species use pheromones to communicate. The exact tone of each ghost is different the same way people’s voices are different.
Humans can only hear these vibrations when the frequency passes through
their audible range (20Hz - 20KHz), hence the ‘purring’ sound. When the
range dips into infrasound (16 - 20Hz) it can cause feelings of fear and
unease in humans that they often associate with ghosts and the
supernatural. Also known as the ‘Heebie Jeebies.’”
Danny, wiping off the whiteboard: “Any questions before we move on?“
Danny’s audience consists of
Wes Weston, Tucker Foley, Sam Manson, Danny’s clone Ellie, and Dash Baxter in a classroom. Wes is seated at a desk at the front taking notes. Tucker is sitting on Sam’s lap playing on a Switch, Ellie is sitting on a desk behind them. Dash is asleep at the back of the room.
Ellie, now holding the cat: “Is this Vlad’s first cat!?”
Wes: "Could you tone down the floating eyes before the next part? They’re kinda distracting.”
Danny: “What eyes?”
Wes: “Please stop gaslighting me.”
A transparency trick on the last page reveals dark shadows and eyes all around Danny when viewed in dark mode. /.End ID]
An Extended Image ID is available under the read more because it’s over 1k. Side by side light and dark mode versions of the transparency trick is also available under the cut.
halloween costume
jESUS CHRIST THAT’S FUCKING TERRIFYING
Me on my way to steal yo man
YOU CAN KEEP HIM
It’s Jolene
I love everything about this.
something that exists in the city I'm moving to:
I am obsessed with this park that combines all midcentury dangerous playground elements into one awful whole. witness this steep metal slide descending from the top of a jungle gym into a concrete pit
if you fall off the jungle gym, you too will be doomed to the pit
there's very little opportunity to get out, too. the only handholds are the ones on the left. Sendai gets a lot of rain, almost as much as Vancouver, so imagine being mangled from sliding into concrete and having to climb a sheer, slippery slope to freedom. I think I would just make a home down there and give up on life
I'm sure it does.
